This is not a political post. This is a post targeted at a small group of people who are looking for the answer to this question. I’m not going to pass judgement, I’m just going to tell my story. This is the wrong forum to make a political point.
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From the 14th week we knew there was a problem.
During one of the ultrasounds, the doctor noticed a build up of fluid inside the baby’s stomach. The hole for the liquid of the amniotic fluid to exit from simply hadn’t developed.
The condition is known as a Posterior Urethral Valve. Usually it’s found in more developed fetuses (35+ weeks) and the problem is that the hole is too small for all of the fluid to pass through. When the baby is born, a procedure done to widen the hole, and the baby continues on for the rest of its life without a problem.
In our case there was no hole, and it had happened so early in the baby’s development that the buildup of fluid would result in severe disfigurement in the baby’s stomach.
This wasn’t something that was supposed to cause a miscarriage. The only organs that would be effected would be the fetus’s lungs (because it wouldn’t have enough amniotic fluid flowing through it), and the kidney’s (because of the pressure from the fluid buildup). These are organs the baby doesn’t need until after it’s born.
The doctor suggested that we abort, and we considered it. But they we asked ourselves “who are we to determine the path for this baby? We’ll never have even given it a chance.”
A few weeks later it was all over.
The doctor confirmed there was no heartbeat, and the fetus came out a few days later (it was a boy). We had the answer to our question.
What Do You Do After a Miscarriage?
Following the miscarriage, the hospital set up a support group for other women who’d had abortions and miscarriages. My wife went and found herself surrounded by 5 other women who had all lost babies in the past 6 months.
It was interesting to see the reactions of the different people. One was angry at God. Another was completely depressed. Many couldn’t hear the sounds of a baby crying. It was just too painful.
We, in some ways, were very fortunate to have had an early warning that there was a problem.
In the weeks leading up to the miscarriage, my wife spent hours talking to the baby, telling him everything was going to be OK. She also did a lot of EFT work.
Even if it had no effect on the fetus, it helped us process the emotions. When the miscarriage came, we felt like we’d had the privilege to touch a perfect soul – a soul that had obviously fulfilled it’s mission.
My wife had a tremendous impact on the women of the group when she said this over. It was a perspective that many of the women needed to hear.
There was one woman who burst into tears following my wife’s tale, and she couldn’t be consoled.
This woman’s pregnancy had ended in an abortion. Her baby too had a developmental problem that was detected in an ultrasound. They also found out very early in the pregnancy. At 28 weeks, the doctor confirmed the baby’s development problem – the main thing that would be effected would be the baby’s senses, particularly it’s ability to hear and see.
She and her husband decided to abort the fetus.
My wife and I had resolved that no matter what happened, if our baby had reached term and been born, we would have done everything possible to help him. It gave us a completely new view on life and our role in it, and I think that’s the main reason we’re were so healthy emotionally following the miscarriage. We weren’t thinking about the hardship that this baby would have on us, we were entirely focused on what we could give this baby.
The woman who’d aborted will not need to deal with any hardship from her child. But she herself said that aborting the baby resulted in a sever attack on her humanity. She said she’s haunted by the fact that she never gave this baby a chance.
What Could Have Happened?
One of the questions I like to ask to target limiting beliefs is “Has anyone with the problem you’ve mentioned ever been successful, despite their problem?”
After the above story there are 2 people that come to mind who had severe sensory problems at a young age, and turned around not only there lives, but countless lives of the people they came in contact with.
Meir Schneider was born with a number of vision problems, including cataracts.
After 5 unsuccessful surgeries, the lenses of his eyes were left shattered and full of scar tissue. The doctors claimed that his condition was hopeless and he was certified permanently legally blind.
He grew up blind, he did his homework in braille, but he never gave up his burning desire to see again. He knew that what the doctors had said couldn’t be true, and he was going to prove it.
At the age of 17 he discovered the work of Dr. Bates, and began an intense regimen of eye exercises to rebuild his vision, working up to 13 hours a day doing the exercises.
Within 6 months he began to see objects – for the first time in his life, and within 18 months he was able to read print when he help the paper close to his face.
Today, he has completely rebuilt his vision, and holds an unrestricted drivers license in the State of California. He drives without glasses.
This is a person who, according to the doctors, never had a fighting chance. But not only did he completely rebuild his eyes, he’s helped thousands of people around the world do the same.
The other person is a little more famous and deserves mentioning here.
Helen Keller, at the age of 19 months developed a disease and lost her ability to see and hear. Through the help of her teacher Anne Sullivan she learned how to communicate and eventually learned how to speak.
She went on to become an activist and even an author. Keller was someone who also, defied all the odds and went on to do things in her life that impacted the lives of thousands.
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I’m not sure how you found this post.
A friend could have sent it to you, you could have come via Google or social media, but the point I’m trying to make is that once a fetus has been conceived, there is a potential for greatness to be added to the world.
The option to abort may seem like the preferable option, but you don’t know what, or who, this baby has the potential to become.
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